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Homeschool with No Regrets

Rhonda Stoppe

How you ask? 
How can those who educate at home avoid some of these regretful mistakes:

  • Become prideful
  • Seek to find own personal value in their child's academic accomplishments
  • Keep from being too controlling or micro-manage their child's efforts
  • Appear judgmental to those who do not homeschool
  • Shelter kids so much that they have no opportunity to learn from mistakes

Homeschooling brings its own challenges for parents. You want to do your very best to educate your kids well, and yet there is a real temptation to find your own glory and satisfaction in your children's successes. I know, I have been a homeschooling mom.

The Bible teaches that God created us for His glory. To glorify God means to represent HIS character to a watching world, to create in them an appetite for knowing Him. When you are careful to live for God's glory and not your own, you will discover your true worth, and you will find freedom from people pleasing––or regretting that you don't measure up to that perfect homeschool mom you so admire.

When your children observe that you have a genuine goal to live in a manner that brings glory to God––rather than to yourself, they too will learn the secret of living free from the influence of peer pressure, self-promotion, and pride. Let's be honest, we have all met the homeschool kids who seem to look down on others who do not educate at home, or those who do not homeschool using the same methods their family does. I was a very laid-back let's stay in our jammies until our school work's done kind of mom. I remember feeling chastised by children who lived in a more disciplined environment. We must not forget that the Bible warns "pride goes before a fall," therefore be aware that pride is your enemy. Humility is the mark of one who God uses to do great things.

We all want to protect our kids from the big-bad-wolf. But moms, if you homeschool, you would be wise to involve your children in social settings where they can learn from their mistakes. Allow them to learn the sting of having a friend hurt their feelings, so they can learn how to forgive and restore relationships. If the coach doesn't seem to give them equal playing time, maybe it's time for you to sit on the side-lines and pray for the Lord to use this disappointment to develop your child's character. You can find insights on how to develop these opportunities in my book Moms Raising Sons to Be Men.

We need to remember, we are not trying to raise perfect children, but kids who know how to recover from their mistakes. Studies show that micro-managing or pushing for perfection often leads children into regretful rebellion. If you think you might be "controlling" there is a section in my book entitled Control Freaks Raise Freaks that you may find helpful.

If you have courageously chosen to school your children at home look for mentors who have traveled this unique path before you. People who have walked in your shoes teach most passionately about what they did right, but also from their regrets. A wise woman will learn from other's regrets so that she does not have to go through her own. Inviting mentors into your life is God's way of training moms (seeTitus 2).

When you wisely seek out good counselors, here are only a few benefits. You will:

  • Receive clear advice, not swayed by emotional attachment
  • Enjoy fellowship with someone who has walked in your shoes
  • Learn from their successes and regrets
  • Find encouragement to keep doing what the Lord has called you to do

"Moms are the makers of men, the architects of the next generation."1 Your job is vital to the next generation's moral fiber. Find mentors. Be a mentor. Prepare yourself to homeschool with no-regrets. Reading my book, Moms Raising Sons to Be Men is a great place to start!

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